To Write or Not to Write

Yes, that is the question I suppose. This week after Christmas has typically been my most emotional week of the year. Add to this year a precocious one-year old, an incredibly headstrong and stubborn four-year old, and an overly dramatic, know-it-all of a seven-year old....oh, and a visit from my mean old Aunt Flo, and it's a bad week to think about writing at all. Yet, here I am, thinking about it. Itching to write again.

This summer and fall, I churned out three short stories and was lucky enough to get them accepted by a small e-publisher. I was ecstatic, actually, since I hadn't written anything substantial in many years. I took the science route when I got out of high school, choosing to study biology. I like lab work. I'm a natural lab rat, being the recluse I am and all.

The past eight years, I've been a full time mama, having decided to take on the hardest and best job in the world back in 2001. Now, though, as my last little one is growing up a bit, I started wanting something different. I've been "just a mom" for so long that I could swear my brain is half dried up sometimes. My brain needs stimulation. It always has, since I began reading at age three.

But, where do I begin my quest, I asked myself, since I'm way in over my head in this mama gig? At first, it seemed simple. I have a Bachelor's in Biology that I got 11 years ago. Why not try for a Master's? I got accepted into an online program and had all intentions of starting in January. Then, I realized how much it would cost. A lot. And my dad's health is deteriorating. And I still have the three (refer to previous descriptions) to take care of. So, that's at least on hold for now.

Then, I've been toying with the idea of teaching high-school biology. So, I've been trying online tutoring to get a little experience and extra money to boot. Apparently, I'm a bit rusty at that whole biology thing, so if I don't improve in the next couple weeks, they're gonna dump me.

The questions that I now ponder are--what should I do now? What CAN I do now? Should I even TRY doing anything else now? Lord knows I have enough housework and childcare to keep me busy 24/7, yet I think the Lord knows too that I need something else. My brain needs something else. And the utter thrill I got from writing those three stories AND getting a positive response from them has me wanting more of that.

I've always loved reading and writing. I once was an avid reader. The bookmobile used to stop by my house as a kid in the summer, bringing me Victoria Holt and Stephen King novels. I wrote a lot of poetry and English was one of my best and favorite subjects in school. So, did I take the wrong path in choosing science after all? Is writing really my true passion?

I envy those who have known all along where they belong and have followed out their dreams to reality. Here I am approaching my mid-thirties, and still trying to decide what to be when I grow up. I know that I love writing. It's fun as heck to develop a storyline and see it through to an exciting, happy ending. Yet, what if I fail miserably and never publish another thing? What if I can't find any time to write because of my three "distractions"? Will I resent them for keeping me from it? Will I resent them if I don't TRY?

Here is where I stand, this final week of 2009. And I'm revamping my old blog just for now. Maybe this will be my writer's blog. I hope I can find reason to add to it. I hope I can find time to write. I hope I have found my true passion in life. I hope I can still be a good wife and mama in the process. I hope...

Bye bye for now

To all my tens of readers,

I've went AWOL from blog-land for now. The demands of "the three" especially, then playing EQII, and Facebook have taken priority now. I'll miss my blog friends, but it's time to move on to other things. I'll keep the account open in case I get the urge to blog again. If you want to keep tabs on me, join Facebook. I can post pics on there and update my status. It's handy to keep in touch with people there. Of course, you can always e-mail me or call or visit. I'm not a virtual person yet :) Love you all and have a great summer!

Misty

Happy Mother's Day

To all mothers, whether they have newborns or grandkids and any kids in between!  To all our mothers, whether they're near or far, alive or passed away!  To all the women who've influenced our lives over the years and to women who influence even now....Happy Mother's Day!  You're special, you're loved, and you're doing a great job!

I'm enjoying a very sweet homemade gift from Bryan and the kids tonight.  They made me a bouquet of each of their hands cut out of construction paper attached to green pipe cleaners, and on each hand is written one thing they can do for me to help me, like "Clean My Room" or "Give Mommy a Hug".  Complete with Jelly Belly Jelly Beans and Dove Chocolates in the bottom of the bowl and homemade cards.  I'm so blessed to have all of them.  I hope you have a blessed day too!

So it begins...

The bi-annual seasonal clothing changes.  Why do I dread this task so much?  It's really one of my least favorite chores, but like most other chores, must be done at some point.  The kids can't wear long sleeves all summer.  What's really tough is figuring out how to store the clothes that are too small.  I'm thinking of buying some of those gigantic Rubbermaid containers and start pouring all the garbage bags full of clothes into those, then into the garage.  The closets just can't hold them anymore.

And yes, I'm very blessed to have more than adequate clothes for my children.  And yes, I'm very thankful for them.  But I just have a hard time finding joy in the sorting, that's all.  If I focus on one kid at a time, one area at a time, it makes it go a little more smoothly.  So, just stay focused.....stay focused... :)

Carpet Cleaning

Well, I actually did something productive today, contrary to yesterday's post.  I started the much-needed shampooing of the hallway carpet.  I started out with Rug Doctor Pre-Treatment spray, which I sprayed generously on each area, letting it sit for 5-10 min each time.  Then, using Bissell's Fiber Cleaning formula carpet shampoo in my Hoover Steam-Vac, I washed/auto-rinsed one area while Zoe was in pre-K, then just finished another after lunch.  Got a big floor fan helping to dry it.  I can't do huge areas in our high-traffic floors while I've got kids home.  

I love the steam-vac, because it only leaves the floor damp and we can walk on it within an hour or so.  Do I sound like a commercial?

Next big plans--get some pictures updated in our frames and clean out the fridge thoroughly.  Got a spring cleaning bug, I guess.

Where have I been?

It's been a while since I've posted.  I've been on Facebook a bit more than here and it's been a long while since I've caught up on Bloglines on all my blog friends.  I'll get back there eventually.  

I've also been spending a lot of time on EQII recently.  There's been a new expansion and I've been more actively roleplaying my characters and trying to advance them in the game.  Yes, I'm ate up.  Could be doing a million other more productive things with my time.  But it's a fun hobby for me and helps me get some relaxation from stressful mommy-work times.  

So, since my online time is limited and I've been spending more time elsewhere online, that's why you haven't seen much of me.  Hobbies tend to be cyclical though, so I'll pop up again here when I get bored there.  Until then, happy blogging!

My Boy

This past Sunday, our Zachaboo was one year old.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone by.  It seems like we just brought him home, all pink, fuzzy, and wiggly.  He had no butt and such scrawny little legs :)  Now he's 21 pounds and almost running everywhere.  He's been a great baby and I'm sure he'll be a wonderful little boy.  Thank you God for all my babies and letting us celebrate each one's first birthday.  Amen.

One of those days...

Meg's been complaining about her stomach hurting every time she eats since Monday.  So today, I called the doctor and let her stay home to go.  She is getting a prescription for Zantac.  And she had a blood test.  Had to drag her into the room to get it done, but once I had her firmly seated on my lap, she wasn't too bad.  Thank you Melissa for watching the younger two for me--I hate dragging them all into the doctor's office if I don't have to.

Prepared for our first evening MOPS night meeting this morning as well, and shopping for Zach's first birthday party, and baking my pigs in a blanket for the meeting now, after having the power out here for over an hour.  I'm already a tired puppy and my meeting starts at 6.  I think I need caffeine and lots of it.  How in the world I'm gonna get the laundry caught up and us all packed up to head to the in-laws tomorrow night is yet to be seen :)

Growing Up

I'm sad.  Zachary is weaned.  He went to bed night before last without mommy milk for the first time.  *sigh*  He's growing up and doesn't need to nurse any more.  He had just gotten uninterested and very wiggly when nursing and would only nurse a few minutes before he was ready to get up and play with me.  He'll be one this coming Sunday.  So, we ALMOST made it a full year.   He was ready.  I wasn't.  But I'm coming to terms with it.

I think what also saddens me is that I'll no longer be a pregnant mom or nursing mom, but just a mom.  The past seven years have flown by so fast, even with sleepless nights, countless diapers, teething and nursing round the clock.  The stage of simply raising the children is upon us, which of course is not really simple, but I think you know what I mean.

Despite the sadness, I'm looking forward to some changes.  My life has been a bit out of balance the last couple months.  The ice storm threw everyone off, and I've been putting too much energy into some areas and not enough in others.  As spring draws near, I'm looking forward to some home improvement projects, more family time and especially more couple time.  We want to plan a trip at the end of May to the Smokies--just Bryan and me.  And hopefully some little family trips over the summer as well....zoos and parks, maybe even Mammoth Cave...we might as well just jump on in to this child-raising and do it up right!

Cleaning up after the ice storm

To start, please forgive the outdated blog header.  I have not reinstalled photoshop on my laptop yet so haven't been able to make a new one.  And I have not been blogging or Facebooking or reading blogs for some time.  My attentions have been focused elsewhere.  So, don't think I've forgotten about you, my blog-friends.  I've just been a bit AWOL.  

Partly due to the storm cleanup.  Bryan's dad and mom, and his uncle and aunt came this past Saturday to help with cleaning up limbs.  Bryan lucked up and found a portable bucket lift in Clarksville to use to reach the tops of the trees.  Unfortunately, most of Saturday's effort was a wash-up, literally, because it rained the better part of the day.  They only got a few hours in on Saturday.  His mom and dad stayed that night and Bryan and his dad worked like madmen all day Sunday to get the trees done.  Bryan's mom (aka "Nana") helped with the kids and we both kept everyone fed and helped the guys

 whenever they needed something.

It got dark before they got the trees done, but they got a flashlight and chugged on.  I helped them move limbs so they could access the last couple of trees.  On the last tree, the controls up in the bucket stopped working, so I had to stand by the main controls on the base, flashlight held with my chin, while they told me which buttons to push.  Finally, around 7:30 pm that night, they finished, both guys worn out, but it's done.  Now, we just have to clean up the aftermath, but the hard part is over. 

I'll sure miss the shade this summer, but at least we'll have no leaves to rake in the fall :)

                                                

What a Valentine's Surprise!

Just when I think my hubby couldn't get any more awesome, this morning he sent me a gift basket tied with two balloons, and filled with chocolates for me, and candy, cookies, and a stuffed animal for the kids.

The chocolate itself would have been enough to win me over, but he also sent a dozen red roses, and on each one was a note with a Bible verse, each related to the numbers 1-12.  Here is an example:

"THREE:  You have brought into our home three wonderful, loving children that have completed our lives and left an admiration in my heart that I can scarcely describe.  Thank you.

Genesis 3:20--Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living."

I'll never be able to top this year.  I sent him flowers and an e-card yesterday, but wow--what did I do to deserve such a great man who goes out of his way to show his love for me?  I really don't feel worthy right now.  And I'm teary-eyed.  It takes a lot to make me teary-eyed when I'm not pregnant or otherwise hormonal :)  

Thank you Bryan, for being you, my soulmate, my best friend, my husband.  I LOVE YOU!!

What My Faith Means to Me

When I say, “I am a Christian”

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not shouting “I've been saved!”

I’m whispering, “I get lost! That's why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I don’t speak with human pride

I’m confessing that I stumble - needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not trying to be strong

I’m professing that I’m weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not bragging of success

I’m admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I don't think I know it all

I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not claiming to be perfect

My flaws are far too visible but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I do not wish to judge

I have no authority -- I only know I’m loved

~by Carol Wimmer, 1988

I'm thankful...

For all the people who have worked so hard to restore power to our area, our state, and surrounding states.  

For a hot cup of tea and a quiet hour while 2 are napping and one's on her way home from school.

For a loving family who fed and sheltered us for a week while we waited out the ice storm damage and who came to help us top our trees this past Saturday.

For my husband, who works very hard for our family, our church, and our community, and who loves us so much.

For 3 healthy, happy children.

For wonderful neighbors who pitched in to clean up a huge pile of tree limbs.

For God's unconditional love and gift of salvation, that surpasses all other blessings.

Tuesday, a week after the ice storm

Bryan is supervising the organization of one of 40 "tent cities" that are being put up in Kentucky.  This particular one will house 300 linemen, providing beds, meals, showers, and supplies.  They're setting up in one of the high school parking lots.  He is coming in at 5:30-8:30 am to work there, then to work at the power plant, then back to the "tent city" from 5-10.  Not sure how long he will be doing this, but I do know he's going to be worn out. 

He also says our power is off again, so he has to keep the generator going.  And I think he said our water is out again too, so we may be here in Adair County longer than I hoped.  I was hoping to go back home tomorrow, but it doesn't look like that will happen.  At least we're warm and well cared for here.  

I had the opportunity to take 2 of my neices and my 2 daughers out to Mc'D's last night for supper.  I had a great time with them, though they were a little loud, well, a LOT loud actually :)  But I loved having them all with me.  I don't get to see them much because we live so far away and they're all in school and such.  I'm not happy that we had an ice storm, but I am happy that I've gotten to spend time with my neices and my dad this week.

Sunday ice storm update

The kids and I are still holed up in Adair County, eating my in-laws out of house and home :)  Bryan says our power is back on, and our neighbor Harold, but only because we share a line with the water company.  Lucky us I guess.  It seems sporadic, however, so we're still waiting it out here until things stabilize.  

There is a boil water advisory for our county, and I saw on the local news that our schools will be closed until further notice.  So, no rush in going back.  Though, I just talked with Bryan and he says we may be able to come back mid-week.  

Our church is still a shelter, though they now have power, since they share a line with the hospital.  Bryan took their generator and helped wire it up to First Baptist church last night.  He's also helped a few friends wire up their generators for home and business.  

I'm wondering when we'll get back into having Meg's Upward basketball games and practices.  I guess that'll be cancelled until further notice as well, since it's held in our church.  It's like the whole county is just on hold until further notice.  

Well, at least I have my laptop and a wireless connection here, so I can play Everquest and blog to my tens of readers, most of whom don't have power and can't read it anyway :)

Friday ice storm update

The kids and I made it into Adair County last night. We met Bryan's mom and dad in Bowling Green, where they gave Bryan some more cans of gas, groceries, and 1000 cups for our church. They ran out of cups while serving as a shelter for hundreds of people in our community. Bryan delivered them last night when he went back. And we came on back here.

This was one time that I was glad we had family that lived outside the area. Otherwise, we'd all be in the same boat. Luckily, Adair County, and points south and east of here, were not badly affected by the ice storm. They just barely missed it.

Watching GMA this morning, I heard a blurb from the local news that it could be up to a month before power is restored in our county. I certainly hope that is a worst-case scenario. I have no idea how long we'll be here, but I'm glad we could go somewhere safe and warm.

I had a lot of reservations about leaving home. I wanted to stay and be there in case anyone needed help or shelter, but taking care of "the three" is my first priority, and with "the three" in tow, I can't be of much help. Bryan is staying behind, though, manning the ship, so to speak. He'll be working, helping at the church, and helping anyone else he can. Our home is still open to anyone who needs a shelter. E-mail me if you know anyone who needs to stay and I'll get you in contact with Bryan.

Until next time, I'll miss all of my friends back home and I pray that God will supply all your needs and keep you safe.

Thursday ice storm update

We have water this morning, so Bryan and I both took showers.  He went in to work this morning.  I'm going to give the girls baths while we have water.  Bryan says the water plant may be low on gas for their generator so the water may not be here to stay.

The worst news is that all of KU's western grid is out--that means no power for anyone west of Louisville that they supply.  I heard on the news that about a million people across 20 states are without power, and it's likely going to be days or up to a week before any significant areas are back in power.  The local KU plant actually shut down yesterday because they had no where to send out the power.

Gasoline for generators is in such demand that there are shortages all over our region.  Bryan stood in line yesterday at Southern States for an hour and a half to fill up our gas cans.  The generator will run for 8- 10 hours with 7 gallons of gas.  If we hear that we can't find enough gas for the next couple of days, I probably will be coming to Adair County with our kids for a few days.  

Bryan was out all day yesterday helping the church wire up a large generator that the National Guard loaned them.  The church is now a shelter, and by the time he got home last night, he said it was filling up fast.  When a young girl with a small baby came up to him to thank him while he was working, he knew all those long hours were worth it.  

So, to conclude, our 2 guest rooms are ready for anyone who needs them, we have plenty of food for now, and our water is working as of now.  Phone service is sketchy.  Most of the time, I can't call out, but people seem to call in fine.  Our cell phones have been out until just now, and I have service, but not sure if that will last.

Pictures of the ice storm

Wednesday ice storm update

More freezing rain/sleet overnight.  Turned to snow this morning.  We probably have at least an inch of snow over the ice right now, but looks like it's ending.  

The water plant is out of power and they don't have their own generator.  The National Guard is looking for one that is big enough to supply their needs.  I think they need to buy one of those industrial built-in generators if you ask me.  Just to be prepared in situations like this.  So now, our county is out of power, many are out of heat, and we have no water now.  

Oh, and our phone lines are out as well as the cell phones.  Apparently, people from outside the affected area can call in, but we can't call out anywhere.  If you want to check in on us, call us and it'll probably get through.  

First Baptist Church is acting as a shelter, but they are filling up.

Now, Bryan and many others are helping our church (Second Baptist) to set up a diesel generator so the church will be fully functional and available as a shelter tonight to anyone who needs it.  Some also served food from there last night--I suppose they cooked with gas.  They may be serving food after powering up today.  

Anywho, the kids and I are just hanging out stuck in the house, but thankfully, we have a working generator so we are staying warm and we have plenty of food to eat.  Keeping them entertained is the biggest challenge so far ;)  I'll try to head out and get some pictures soon.

Ice Storm

Our county is a disaster area.  Again.  In less than a year, we've lived through a tornado that destroyed several homes last February, a wind storm that wiped out power for a week for many in our region, and now an ice storm like we haven't seen in years.  The linemen have worked overtime in each of these situations just to get our power back.  It must be so frustrating for them, especially as trees are falling constantly under the weight of the ice.  I pray God will keep each of them safe as they work day and night to get us up and running again.

We have (or had) several beautiful trees in our front and back yard that are now being desimated by the ice.  And more is coming now, with snow predicted after that.  I will try to post pictures tomorrow.  You wouldn't believe how many huge limbs are down all around our house.  I don't know if we can salvage any of our trees.  I sincerely hope our backyard trees around our swingset survive, but I think one at least may be lost.  They provided such nice shade during summer play.

My husband worked all day to find and hook up a generator, so we have heat and enough power to run our refrigerators, cook, and watch TV.  We still are conserving the lights and only running one small appliance at a time.  Dishwashing will be done by hand for now and we can shower, thanks to a gas water heater. I'm thankful that we can be warm and well fed, especially with "the three" here at home until school gets back in session.  

I dread going to bed, just to be startled by each crack and boom of more limbs falling, like I heard all night last night and all day today.  However, I thank God that we have a warm home to sleep in and pray that He will give each of us the strength to clean up and help our neighbors when the storms are over.  If any of you locals happen to read this and need heat or know someone who does, we have two spare bedrooms you can crash in if you need em.  Stay warm!