Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Is it a choice?

Here's another discussion topic for you:

We've heard a lot about the issue of *gay marriage` in this election year (I'll use asterisks to help keep the spammers away). First of all, is *homosexuality` a choice? I know that who you ultimately decide to have a relationship with is a choice, but is the feeling a choice?

I've had a few *gay` coworkers and friends over the years. Some I would say have been
"obvious" and some have not. Could it be that some people are born with a tendency to gravitate toward the same gender?

Also, I've seen some documentaries about people who claim to be "trans-gendered", that is born physically one gender, yet mentally are a different gender. What is your take on this?

I can't imagine how it must feel to either be attracted to the same gender or feel like a different gender altogether. It can't be easy.

I wonder too...should *gay` couples have any couples' rights together, like common-law marriage, etc? Let the thoughts roll in!


Anonymous said...

I think we have to start by defining rights as opposed to living under God's blessing.

Those who are following his guidelines for obedience should not have to worry about "rights", for their lifestyles and choices bring blessing into their lives.

This brings us to the point: why should we bless something God condemns? We should not.

I read 2 Kings 13:14-25 today and saw the lukewarm response of Elisha's servant...I am challenged.

The servant's response has been mine on some keys issues we HAVE to get insistent about to protect a key Biblical institution. The family is key to the foundation of a God-based society that positions itself for God's blessing and favor.

While Christ has come and we as believers no longer have to fear the ultimate heavenly judgment...we fear the consequences of our environment and those living opposed to God's ways around us.

Romans 1:18-28 describes God's very clear view on this issue. It also shows a societyy's downward spiral when it places reasoning above obedience.

And, God is a loving God...it's not even just about obedience, but about our view of God.

We have to answer some baseline questions about God to even begin to tackle this question.

*Does God really have our best in mind?

*Can we trust Him?

*Is He holding out on us?

*Is He just a God of rules who has expectations no one can be expected to follow?

*What if our environment messes with us and we are messed up as a result? Do the rules chance for us?

THE THING IS, FRIENDS: All these questions are not as new as we like to think. Adam and Eve faced EVERY ONE of these in the garden on Eden. Just like the two of them, we often decide that God is holding out on us, that we've been enlightened by someone/something wiser, we've figured something better out, or even that He's given us this "thing" that seems to finally meet our needs in a way perhaps nothing else has up until that time.

It could just mean that we are self-deceived, just as Adam and Eve were, irregardless of their reasoning. Most of us who are honest have had some sort of deception happen in our own lives, and often it is years after we are delivered out of it before we realized how subtle the deceptions were built on one another that led us down that slippery slope toward something "less than". Satan works in that way so that it seems entirely logical by the time we are in over our heads. We may even convince others how "okay" it is.

God didn't ask Adam and Eve to write a thesis or reason their way or figure it out...he made it very easy for them. He knew what was best, and he clued them in.

Their problem was not with lack of information or knowledge ...it was a lack submission to something...someone higher...ultimately, a lack of the ultimate trust God wants from us...Lordship.

Note, Misty, that He gave them every reason to trust Him. He gave them everything. He supplied a perfect living environment with every need met, no guilt or sin in the way. His very own presence dwelt with them. They were perfectly fulfilled. So, the fault was not with Him or what He made...the fault is in man's tendency toward sin. The "Adamic nature". All men were born with it, and that is why when we receive Christ it is said in Scripture that "we are a new creation". We no longer have the Adamic nature that leads us toward sin and pride...we are given the nature of Christ. The New Testament says we are born again. That is why we are able to trust and receive his love, forgiveness, and inclined toward obedience.

From the beginning, we needed Jesus. We still need Jesus. God let man fall several times to prove we could not do any of it with just a bunch of rules.

That was the point of the Old Testament. We could only do it with a Savior, and if we were made new. With his help and by seeking His wisdom and ways, we can know the fulfillment in life He has always meant for us to have, a closeness to someone greater that we all long for. A need for love we all long for. Acceptance.

THAT is blessing.

I'm no theologian, but that's why I cannot in any way justify this lifestyle or give in to the wave of popular opinion on it.

Misty said...

Very well thought out post, Maggie! I like to see the Biblical perspective on all issues.

Keep in mind, that I am not endorsing hom*osexuality, but I do feel empathy for those who feel that they are.

And as a biologist, I wonder if there is not something physiological or hormonal that can make some people have a tendency to make that choice.

Theresa said...

I like to talk and I rarely meet a stranger, no surprise there to those that know me. I often find myself involved in conversations with people and wonder how it ended up where it does. I hope it's because I can listen as much as I talk.

Over the years with my job I've met a lot of homosexual people and several became friends. With those friendships I've been privy to a lot of torn emotions that make my opinions quite different than they would have if I hadn't met them. I know that we all make choices in our lives that sometimes are the wrong choice but I have had way to many people tell me that if they had a choice they would be straight.

Because of these conversations I can't help but believe that some people are just born with screwed up hormones and they really are attracted to members of the opposite sex. All babies start out the same sex from conception. The chromosomes determine if the organs drop or not, if you know what I'm saying. What is to say that something during that critical part of growth doesn't go haywire?

I'm not condoning but I'm also not judging. It's not up to me to make that call.

So many have told me the problems they have had growing up, the conflicts, the bullying. The stress with coming out and also the problems they had when they were trying to pretend the feelings weren't there. They were miserable. Caught between what the world accepted and the feelings they had. This isn't hearsay or what I've read, this is from actual people that I know and not just one.

Each speaking at a different time in a different environment but saying the same thing, they could not live a lie. Each telling me that they did believe that they were born with a mutated gene that resulted in their sexuality.

Each saying that life would have been so much easier had it not happened. One man that I worked with finally gave up and moved to another state, he couldn't handle the condemnation of his peers. Some of his family still live in our community, they don't see him very often but he calls. They say he says he's happy.

I would love to live in a perfect world where each couple could be perfect for each other, raise their children in a world with no bigotry, racism or hatred but sadly we don't have that option. We have to make our own environment the best that we can and showing God's love and acceptance to all mankind is the only way we can bring that world a little closer to our reality.

I really have to stop reading your blog, I just was going to pop on for a minute and I've written a novel!

Misty said...

Thank you Theresa! I love your novels!

I don't think empathy is condoning and I've never been in their shoes, so I can't judge how they feel.

Medicine has revealed many problems that are genetically or chemically linked over the years including mental illnesses, and in some cases, homosexuality may be the result of an imbalance.

I don't think that's the case for every person though. Some may be seeking that lifestyle because of past trauma, rebellion, emotional issues, or just plain choice.

But for some like you're talking about, it seems more than just plain choice. Hopefully medical science can discover those links eventually and help those who truly wish to be delivered.

Runningmama said...

I found you on another blog and liked your title!

I love it that you asked this question about gays. I have a gay relative and it hurts me when her internal struggle is overlooked in lieu of moral condemnation.

I am Christian and I believe that people can be born with gay tendencies. I liken it to an alcoholic's predisposition for addiction.

I can't make sense of it, of course. I just hope I show others the same grace I am getting. Which is A LOT.

Anonymous said...

I learned in one of my a&p classes that there are two main surges of hormones during in utero development. One forms the sex of the mind and the other the type of sex organs and ideally... these match. I do believe there are certain circumstances where they do not match and you have genuine people with urges opposite of what is "normal".

How does that relate to my Christianity? Well... I don't have all of the answers but I do know that generally speaking, Christians are not known to show the same grace and mercy to ho*mosexuals as they are to other people. I believe that sin is sin and that God does not rank sin and therefore... we should not single certain sins out and judge those individuals. In doing so... we are not being Christ-like and we are not helping them to ever know Christ. It is a fine line to walk between not supporting and not judging.

How do I feel in regards to being American and our laws? I love the fact that we have religious freedom. It is that freedom that allows me to worship my God. It is that freedom that allows me to worship freely and choose which denomination or religion that I believe in rather than my state or country choosing for me. Since I am a very grateful for my freedom to choose Jesus... then I feel I must also be supportive of others right to have their own freedom as well... even when they don't make the choices I would make for them.

Sooooo.... not sure where that leaves me. I have had friends and we have a relative who are g*ay and we love them regardless of their choices.

Joni said...

What a great question and insightful comments. I feel similar to runningmama about the idea that some can be born with a predisposition to something. I have also thought about homosexual desires being similar to other desires that are outside of God's blessing i.e. sex outside of marriage. Just because a 14 yr old boy and girl feel the desire, does it mean they HAVE to act on it just because the tendency is there? When you take God's ways out of the equation, then there really is no argument to be had. You are the way you are. Its solely instinct. And if that idea keeps being pursued, then what's to stop pedophiles from claiming their desires for children are just how they were made?