Thursday, January 11, 2007

Thursday's Laugh Out Loud

I've read somewhere that the shortened daylight hours make us naturally more lethargic in the winter--yep, that's it, see it's NATURE! I can't control that, can I?

Well, I CAN get up off my hiney and get on my treadmill for 20 minutes....starting next week, yep next week is looking really good :)

Here are some really funny joke lists I've received recently. The first one just cracked me up so bad I snorted when I laughed! Enjoy!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "For smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM scream, "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: E-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. It's called therapy.

Top Ten Things To Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk

10.) "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9.) "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

8.) "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

7.) "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the Mission Statement and envisioning a new business strategy."

6.) "It's true what they say about all that harmful radiation that these monitors put out. My eyes started stinging and I got real dizzy."

5.) "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4.) "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big production problem."

3.) "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

2.) "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?"


1.) Just raise your head slowly and say, “. . . In Jesus name, Amen."


SP said...

Great post Misty! I do visit your blog quit often but I don't think I've ever commented. Thanks for some great posts!

Maggie said...

Yup, that second one on naps is all for me! Wish I'd had that when I was working! I lost to stay up really late, but that makes me also a napaholic..."Hello, my name is Maggie, and I'm a napaholic...and I have little desire to recover".

Misty said...

I love the "In Jesus' name, Amen..." one. Who could argue with that one? I have a new brownie recipe in the oven and after a little nap, I'll see how they turn out :) I love winter.

diana said...

I laughed out loud when I saw the "Amen" one. Don't know if I'd dare try it or even think of trying it, but funny. Thanks for this post.