Thursday, July 20, 2006

What I'm reading

In response to a request about what my small group is currently reading, here it is. It's called "Intimate Issues--21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex", by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. It's really a great Bible study about intimacy in marriage. I'll give you a brief run down about what we've read thus far:

Chapter 1: What does God think about sex?
Answers: He designed it for us, for a husband in wife, for these reasons:
1. To create life--of course :)
2. Intimate oneness--can be likened to Christ's oneness with the church
3. Knowledge--of one another--can bring depth to the relationship
4. Pleasure--Just read the Song of Solomon!
5. Defense against temptation--Proverbs 5:15 "Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. v18 "...rejoice in the wife of your youth". v 19 "may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."
6. Comfort--Remember how King David comforted Bathsheba after their first son died? Men especially release tension in sexual release.

Chapter 2: How can I be Godly and sensuous?
Answers: Many parallels are drawn from Solomon's bride, "Shulamith", from the Song of Solomon. The authors give this portrait of her as a godly and sensuous woman.
1. She is responsive.
2. She is adventurous.
3. She is uninhibited.
4. She is expressive.
5. She is sensuous.
God wants us to rejoice and give in to our sensuousness, to hold nothing back, and immerse ourselves in the intimate relationship with our husband. We need to give ourselves permission to be sensuous! Women tend to divide their spiritual and physical selves, living in a "two-story house". The point of this chapter is to encourage us that we can be spiritual while we're ministering to our husbands in bed.
"Eat friends, drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers" SOS 5:1

Chapter 3--How do I shift into sexual gear?
Answers: Very hard sometimes, especially for moms of young kids.
The "mind is our most important sexual organ".
Major premise: We can control our thoughts.
Minor premise: Our feelings come from our thoughts.
Conclusion: We can control our feelings by learning to change the way we think.
Our mind-set will determine the way we view sex. Our mind-set is comprised of past experiences, what we were taught, voices we listen to, and what we choose to embrace or reject.
Romans 12:2-- "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
We can picture our mind as a flower bed. We need to uproot the weeds of wrong thoughts and attitudes, and plant the seeds of scripture.
Good seeds: Proverbs 5:19-- 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
SOS 5:16--His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
SOS 7:10--I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.
The right sexual thoughts become actions which eventually become habits and new attitudes. Sexual thoughts--->Meditated thoughts--->Decision--->Action--->Continued Action--->Habit--->Attitude

I'm liking it so far. If you have any insights into sexuality in marriage, please respond. Maybe you can buy the book and join in too :)

1 comment:

Magnanimity said...

GREAT review. I'm linking to this.

Insights into sex...hmmm. My snooping 9 yr old son keeps walking up behind me while I'm reading...I keep minimizing. Tea time, we'll talk sex. :-)