Thursday, February 28, 2008

Can you feel too much?

I feel the suffering of others so strongly, it is almost debilitating. This winter, so many have suffered from so much, and I feel it weighing on me like a ton of bricks in my heart. I can't ease their pain or give them back what they've lost. I can pray, but they still hurt. I still hurt.

I feel a sense of selfishness even, feeling this way, like why can't I hurt for them, but just be functional and productive with the hurt? It does no one any good for me to mope around, cry at the drop of a hat, and be so ultra-sensitive about everything. I just can't stop the flow. I try to stay busy just doing mindless work, but as soon as I stop (and I have to sometimes) here it comes again.

I can understand why people drink and do drugs to numb the hurt. It seems like the easy way out, when of course it is not. I guess as humans, we need to feel the emotions and work through them. Some of us are more sensitive than others and we have to accept what we are and ask God to help us move on and do something positive with the emotion.

This was a completely rambling, journal-ish post. I just needed to write it down. I'm sure you can all relate.


Maggie said...

I TOTALLY get it.

I've had to pray and have others pray FOR me in those times a "prayer of release". It is very powerful and effective when you just can't take anymore.

God loves for us to stay soft and tender-hearted, but He totally gets our limits, too. He can carry it all, without our help. It takes the prayers of two for some reason sometimes for me to agree that it is too much and I need to let Him take it all back and get me to a more healthy place. I pray for release for you, my friend.

achangedheart said...

I woke up praying for you this morning. You were on my mind. I pray you have some relief today.