Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Where oh where did I come from?

That's the question of the day. I have only a little more information on the search for my paternal background. It's been a couple weeks since I mailed the pictures of my father to the family "spokesperson". I hadn't heard anything, so I gave him a call tonight. Scary as it was for me to do, I'm glad I did anyway. Most importantly, I found out that the man in the pictures was indeed the man that they knew. Also, I found that he died in his sleep at the age of 51 (possibly heart attack or stroke), as did his father. The only other medical condition he had that he knew of was high blood pressure. So, at least I can fill in that gap in my medical history.

I'm still kicking myself for not being brave enough to get more information out of my mother when she was alive. This would have been much simpler. I did also find out that my father's widow DID know about my mom, and that they supposedly had an affair. However, the "spokesperson" still insists that he never left his wife, so could have never been married to my mother. I have seen with my own eyes their divorce papers, and all the times and dates match up as to when she was married, from what I was told years ago. Still, no one from that side wants to meet me, and that's fine. I am going to send the "spokesperson" a picture of us. He says he wants to see a picture before he decides to meet me.

You know, it's normal for people to have a skeleton or two in their closets, but with my family (both sides now), does there have to be so many???? Skeletons falling out the door as you open it, kicking them back in. I'm starting to wonder if I wasn't just left on a doorstep. I'm so normal compared to most of them. Well, enough of the illegitimate child rambling. I'm going to just love life the rest of this week....love my own normal, good, honest, sweet family...until another skeleton pops out.


Magnanimity said...

And you think your daughter is the brave little girl?

I think she has a great mom for a role model.

Psalm 139 comes to mind right now:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

Misty said...

Thanks so much for that passage! One of my favorites. I don't believe anyone is an accident. I believe we all are here for a purpose. What we do with our purpose is what makes our character. I think I'm following mine pretty well.

Jules said...

Hey there,
I know you have been over reading my blog about my husband's family journey. Don't be discouraged. God purposes us from our beginning. He has been your Father and if you could not know your earthy father, ;you have full access to your heavenly one. 24/7!

Joni said...

When I became a mom, I realized that I am now the matriarch of my family. And I can break patterns and influence a new generation not tied to the past. I will someday (Lord willing) hold the title and position that my grandmother did. We all rallied around her, my cousins' families gathered because we wanted to see her, we all came together because of her. We have relationships with each other because of her. Now that she has passed, we move on to the next generation. It sounds cornier than I mean it but it really helped me stand up straighter. I'm the queen!! :)

And doesn't God promise to bless how many generations for the faithfulness of the parent? Sorry, don't feel like looking them all up right now.