Spring Fever

Must write, need to write. I'm still not convinced that I have a whole novel in me, but I figure I'm at least 1/5 of the way through. The story is coming right along, and I'm blessed to have kept a few wonderfully talented writer friends from my writing class that are reading three chapters at a time and giving me great feedback. It certainly helps to have sets of fresh eyes to catch what I miss.

My dad is still in rehab, and we're not sure yet exactly what his future holds. Some days he feels better than others. We celebrated his 63rd birthday with him yesterday, with a chess cake that was my mama's recipe, and we brought all the kids and Charlie along to visit. I'm praying that things will smooth out for all of us, and that we'll get used to a new "normal", whatever that is.

We're continuing with our outdoor pergola area, buying plants and pots and sealer for the paver stones. The new hammock is wonderful! I hope to spend many happy hours in it writing and napping. We have our grill out again, and the blueberry bushes are almost bird-proofed. I'm getting three more bushes in this week to replace three that the frost killed a couple years ago. I think we'll be ready for an outdoor shindig soon!

Meg's broken arm seems to be doing well, and next week, she'll go back to get it x-rayed again. The girls have both had allergy problems, and Zoe's ear has been aching. There may be another doctor trip on the horizon. But among all the chaos, the messy house and stresses of caring for kids and my dad, I keep writing. Where it will lead, I don't know, but it keeps me sane, and I'm so glad I discovered my old love again.

The winter of our discontent...

Man, did it all hit the fan these past couple of months. The two youngest kids were sick forever and finally started getting better after 4 trips to the doc and strong antibiotics. After they sufficiently covered me in their mucus, I came down with a cold that became a sinus infection. A really crappy one.

The same day I came down with that, I learned my dad was rushed to the hospital in his county, and the next day he was rushed to University of Louisville hospital. I luckily got in to see the doc the same day and got some antibiotics going before my husband and I rushed up there. That led to an emergency surgery where they removed his entire colon. It had died apparently, and for whatever reason, his family doctor completely missed it or didn't bother to listen to him complaining of intense pain for a long time. Consequently, he will not be returning to her, but I digress.

I remained there for two weeks with him and am finally home awaiting his arrival here to a rehab facility. This winter has been hard. Stressful, disappointing, an emotional roller coaster.

But I'm still writing. Some days I want to throw in the towel, but I won't. I've managed to keep up with my 10 week writing course by keeping my laptop with me at all times. The great thing about this class is that it has allowed me to start work on a tiny novel idea I had, and it has now grown into a real project. I've tailored each week's assignments to formulating various scenes and my instructor seems to think I've got real potential to get it published.

Also loving reading all my classmates' projects as well--such a varied group of talented people. I hope I can keep up some relationships there. Writers need other writer friends to share their ideas and projects with. The online critique group I participate in has been very helpful too, though I had some terrible reviews of one of my fantasy romances. Some of those "critiquers" can be harsh as a Brillo pad. I take the "honest but nice" approach. Eh, but everyone's different. Good for me to learn that now.

I'll keep you updated hopefully a little more frequently. I'm hoping spring will be a time for things to smooth out a bit. Keep us in your prayers!

Like the Energizer bunny

I keep going, and going, and going....

Really busy. Rejection number two came this week in the form of "if we don't contact you within two weeks, assume we're not interested", so I assume they're not interested :) I just now submitted my second children's story after much editing to another agent. I'm not sure if they send real rejection slips or not.

My writing class is going well, though a bit slow at times. I think I could use more challenge and feedback, but it's not bad. The assignments aren't difficult, but they help me practice and I'm learning new techniques and areas of weakness as well.

These kids have been out of school for three days now, so it's been hard to sit down and get any writing done at all. My latest fantasy romance tale is kinda stalled at the moment, though I've gotten more than halfway through. Hopefully, next week I can get back in gear.

I'm A Proud Inductee

Into the world of writers, that is. I got my first rejection from an agent day before yesterday for my children's mystery story. This morning, I re-vamped my query and synopsis, did some minor edits and sent it out again. Such is the life of the struggling writer!

My online writing class began yesterday. There are sixteen people enrolled from all over the US and the world. I'm looking forward to a great experience there.

Until next time everyone--life calls!

Ah, There He Is!

Over the past few months, I've really felt God working in my life. Quite differently from the previous months. But it wasn't His fault.

You know when there are times that you just don't feel God's pull in your own life? Maybe you see Him in other's lives or you don't see Him at all. You start to doubt that He's still paying attention. You start to doubt yourself, your motives, everything around you. Then, you wake up and realize--you were trying to go at it all alone. You thought you had it all figured out and just didn't bother to consult the "big guy". Why bring Him into it--it's all under control, right?

Until it's not. Then you finally seek His guidance. And He's there, like He always has been. I finally started asking God to help me through this mid-life crisis or whatever I'm going through and put me where He wants me.

And He answered of course. We've started this new "hang-ups and habits" Bible study in church. Of course, just weeks prior, he started talking to me about some issues that I've been stumbling over my whole life. Yeah, He was preparing me for this study. And just yesterday, He opened up a part-time opportunity that I thought I wasn't going to have. So, there's the money I need for my writing class. And I've found a couple of great little websites with like-minded people who are practicing their own writing skills.

I'm truly not expecting instant fame here. Or fame at all really. It may be years before anything comes of it, but I think I'm doing what I want to do and what He's leading me toward. He may lead me somewhere else eventually, but I'm gonna stick with it and give it my best. I know He's still workin on me and I'll probably always struggle with my own "stuff" and stumble on it. But, today, I acknowledge and thank Him for not giving up on me. Even when I want to control everything. Even when I want to give up on myself.

Workin, workin, workin...

It almost feels like a new job now. But one I like.

I've started a few new things this week. I joined an online critiquing group where members can post their stories and get feedback. They have a really nice system set up there. The more you give feedback to others, the more points you earn. You use those points to post your own stories. The stories are set in a queue and when they receive at least 6 reviews or are there for a week, they are moved out of the queue and new stories are moved up. I like it so far.

I also signed up for a paid writing class from a writing school. Class begins next week. Since I had originally intended to start biology grad school this semester, I thought I'd fill in that education gap with a legitimate class to study writing.

Currently, I'm working on a new children's story that I'm excited about. It should be finished soon and I will be sending it out to see if it finds a home. I'm hoping the next few months will bring lots of updates, even if they are rejections.

It's a Business

Writing, that is. Like anything else. I'm venturing into dark and scary waters and I'm tempted to jump back out on shore. But, nope, I'm staying in. I can swim...a little. I've decided to always keep in mind that I have no delusions of grandeur. I don't expect to be a Pulitzer Prize-winning author. I don't expect any bestsellers. What I do expect is to enjoy what I do and to keep at it a little every day. I expect to learn and learn and learn. To find my own unique "authorial voice".

How does a writer do that? I'm not quite sure yet, but I'm reading a lot about writing. Sounds kind of unproductive, but there is a wealth of information out there in Google-land. Writing articles, critique groups, classes, etc. I'm actively exploring every possibility. And trying to avoid those negativities that tell me I'll never make it. There's a lot of that out there too. Filtering out all that takes some concentration.

But I remember some very encouraging words from my mama, who was a great encourager to me. She said I could do anything if I put my mind to it. That is the key to success in anything. If your mind and heart are not fully dedicated to something, you'll not really succeed in it. So mind and heart, prepare for an on-going workout in this business of writing.

Now, where's my coffee?

And Now We Wait

I found a legitimate agent this week and sent in my synopsis. Hoping it will be sooner than four months before I hear from her. But I won't hold my breath.

In other writing news, I've joined a neat forum for fantasy/sci-fi writers and hoping to get some good feedback there. I also finished chapter 3 of the 5th story in my fantasy series.

We shall see what the coming week brings. Tootles.

Ok, so NOT my first agent

Now I have learned that I need to do more research before sending my queries to an agent. I just researched this particular agency tonight and there are many negative reviews that claim the company is not legit. They apparently charge people money for a "critique" after they say they're interested in your manuscript. I still have yet to hear from them, but I will be saying, "Thanks, but no thanks" to them. The search for a legitimate agent begins.

My First Agent...Maybe?

So I've had this children's mystery story that I wrote a few months ago just sitting here--all unedited and lonely. I decided it needed a new home. I did some final editing, Googled a children's literary agent, and submitted a synopsis. Hopefully, I'll hear back in a few days. Even if it's my first rejection, I hope I get some positive feedback that I can use to improve and not just a form letter. We'll see!

A Writing We Will Go

As of today, I have one story set to publish this spring, two for next spring, and two more to edit and send off. Today, I began my next short story--number 5 in a series set in a fantasy world of my own design. This one, I'm liking so far, hoping it will grow and develop strongly along the way. If you like elves, dragons, action, intrigue, and romance, I think you'll like this one.

I'm also in the beginning stages of a potential novel. Right now, it's a bit daunting to even think about writing an entire novel, but I'm following a snowflake method from this website: http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/snowflake.php I'm excited to see how far I can take it. The plot so far seems pretty interesting, yet there will be much-needed research involved. Hopefully, my brain will hold up to that task.

I'm hopeful about this new year and my new endeavors. I'm not sure what is around the corner, but I hope to enjoy the ride!

To Write or Not to Write

Yes, that is the question I suppose. This week after Christmas has typically been my most emotional week of the year. Add to this year a precocious one-year old, an incredibly headstrong and stubborn four-year old, and an overly dramatic, know-it-all of a seven-year old....oh, and a visit from my mean old Aunt Flo, and it's a bad week to think about writing at all. Yet, here I am, thinking about it. Itching to write again.

This summer and fall, I churned out three short stories and was lucky enough to get them accepted by a small e-publisher. I was ecstatic, actually, since I hadn't written anything substantial in many years. I took the science route when I got out of high school, choosing to study biology. I like lab work. I'm a natural lab rat, being the recluse I am and all.

The past eight years, I've been a full time mama, having decided to take on the hardest and best job in the world back in 2001. Now, though, as my last little one is growing up a bit, I started wanting something different. I've been "just a mom" for so long that I could swear my brain is half dried up sometimes. My brain needs stimulation. It always has, since I began reading at age three.

But, where do I begin my quest, I asked myself, since I'm way in over my head in this mama gig? At first, it seemed simple. I have a Bachelor's in Biology that I got 11 years ago. Why not try for a Master's? I got accepted into an online program and had all intentions of starting in January. Then, I realized how much it would cost. A lot. And my dad's health is deteriorating. And I still have the three (refer to previous descriptions) to take care of. So, that's at least on hold for now.

Then, I've been toying with the idea of teaching high-school biology. So, I've been trying online tutoring to get a little experience and extra money to boot. Apparently, I'm a bit rusty at that whole biology thing, so if I don't improve in the next couple weeks, they're gonna dump me.

The questions that I now ponder are--what should I do now? What CAN I do now? Should I even TRY doing anything else now? Lord knows I have enough housework and childcare to keep me busy 24/7, yet I think the Lord knows too that I need something else. My brain needs something else. And the utter thrill I got from writing those three stories AND getting a positive response from them has me wanting more of that.

I've always loved reading and writing. I once was an avid reader. The bookmobile used to stop by my house as a kid in the summer, bringing me Victoria Holt and Stephen King novels. I wrote a lot of poetry and English was one of my best and favorite subjects in school. So, did I take the wrong path in choosing science after all? Is writing really my true passion?

I envy those who have known all along where they belong and have followed out their dreams to reality. Here I am approaching my mid-thirties, and still trying to decide what to be when I grow up. I know that I love writing. It's fun as heck to develop a storyline and see it through to an exciting, happy ending. Yet, what if I fail miserably and never publish another thing? What if I can't find any time to write because of my three "distractions"? Will I resent them for keeping me from it? Will I resent them if I don't TRY?

Here is where I stand, this final week of 2009. And I'm revamping my old blog just for now. Maybe this will be my writer's blog. I hope I can find reason to add to it. I hope I can find time to write. I hope I have found my true passion in life. I hope I can still be a good wife and mama in the process. I hope...

Bye bye for now

To all my tens of readers,

I've went AWOL from blog-land for now. The demands of "the three" especially, then playing EQII, and Facebook have taken priority now. I'll miss my blog friends, but it's time to move on to other things. I'll keep the account open in case I get the urge to blog again. If you want to keep tabs on me, join Facebook. I can post pics on there and update my status. It's handy to keep in touch with people there. Of course, you can always e-mail me or call or visit. I'm not a virtual person yet :) Love you all and have a great summer!

Misty

Happy Mother's Day

To all mothers, whether they have newborns or grandkids and any kids in between!  To all our mothers, whether they're near or far, alive or passed away!  To all the women who've influenced our lives over the years and to women who influence even now....Happy Mother's Day!  You're special, you're loved, and you're doing a great job!

I'm enjoying a very sweet homemade gift from Bryan and the kids tonight.  They made me a bouquet of each of their hands cut out of construction paper attached to green pipe cleaners, and on each hand is written one thing they can do for me to help me, like "Clean My Room" or "Give Mommy a Hug".  Complete with Jelly Belly Jelly Beans and Dove Chocolates in the bottom of the bowl and homemade cards.  I'm so blessed to have all of them.  I hope you have a blessed day too!

So it begins...

The bi-annual seasonal clothing changes.  Why do I dread this task so much?  It's really one of my least favorite chores, but like most other chores, must be done at some point.  The kids can't wear long sleeves all summer.  What's really tough is figuring out how to store the clothes that are too small.  I'm thinking of buying some of those gigantic Rubbermaid containers and start pouring all the garbage bags full of clothes into those, then into the garage.  The closets just can't hold them anymore.

And yes, I'm very blessed to have more than adequate clothes for my children.  And yes, I'm very thankful for them.  But I just have a hard time finding joy in the sorting, that's all.  If I focus on one kid at a time, one area at a time, it makes it go a little more smoothly.  So, just stay focused.....stay focused... :)

Carpet Cleaning

Well, I actually did something productive today, contrary to yesterday's post.  I started the much-needed shampooing of the hallway carpet.  I started out with Rug Doctor Pre-Treatment spray, which I sprayed generously on each area, letting it sit for 5-10 min each time.  Then, using Bissell's Fiber Cleaning formula carpet shampoo in my Hoover Steam-Vac, I washed/auto-rinsed one area while Zoe was in pre-K, then just finished another after lunch.  Got a big floor fan helping to dry it.  I can't do huge areas in our high-traffic floors while I've got kids home.  

I love the steam-vac, because it only leaves the floor damp and we can walk on it within an hour or so.  Do I sound like a commercial?

Next big plans--get some pictures updated in our frames and clean out the fridge thoroughly.  Got a spring cleaning bug, I guess.

Where have I been?

It's been a while since I've posted.  I've been on Facebook a bit more than here and it's been a long while since I've caught up on Bloglines on all my blog friends.  I'll get back there eventually.  

I've also been spending a lot of time on EQII recently.  There's been a new expansion and I've been more actively roleplaying my characters and trying to advance them in the game.  Yes, I'm ate up.  Could be doing a million other more productive things with my time.  But it's a fun hobby for me and helps me get some relaxation from stressful mommy-work times.  

So, since my online time is limited and I've been spending more time elsewhere online, that's why you haven't seen much of me.  Hobbies tend to be cyclical though, so I'll pop up again here when I get bored there.  Until then, happy blogging!

My Boy

This past Sunday, our Zachaboo was one year old.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone by.  It seems like we just brought him home, all pink, fuzzy, and wiggly.  He had no butt and such scrawny little legs :)  Now he's 21 pounds and almost running everywhere.  He's been a great baby and I'm sure he'll be a wonderful little boy.  Thank you God for all my babies and letting us celebrate each one's first birthday.  Amen.

One of those days...

Meg's been complaining about her stomach hurting every time she eats since Monday.  So today, I called the doctor and let her stay home to go.  She is getting a prescription for Zantac.  And she had a blood test.  Had to drag her into the room to get it done, but once I had her firmly seated on my lap, she wasn't too bad.  Thank you Melissa for watching the younger two for me--I hate dragging them all into the doctor's office if I don't have to.

Prepared for our first evening MOPS night meeting this morning as well, and shopping for Zach's first birthday party, and baking my pigs in a blanket for the meeting now, after having the power out here for over an hour.  I'm already a tired puppy and my meeting starts at 6.  I think I need caffeine and lots of it.  How in the world I'm gonna get the laundry caught up and us all packed up to head to the in-laws tomorrow night is yet to be seen :)

Growing Up

I'm sad.  Zachary is weaned.  He went to bed night before last without mommy milk for the first time.  *sigh*  He's growing up and doesn't need to nurse any more.  He had just gotten uninterested and very wiggly when nursing and would only nurse a few minutes before he was ready to get up and play with me.  He'll be one this coming Sunday.  So, we ALMOST made it a full year.   He was ready.  I wasn't.  But I'm coming to terms with it.

I think what also saddens me is that I'll no longer be a pregnant mom or nursing mom, but just a mom.  The past seven years have flown by so fast, even with sleepless nights, countless diapers, teething and nursing round the clock.  The stage of simply raising the children is upon us, which of course is not really simple, but I think you know what I mean.

Despite the sadness, I'm looking forward to some changes.  My life has been a bit out of balance the last couple months.  The ice storm threw everyone off, and I've been putting too much energy into some areas and not enough in others.  As spring draws near, I'm looking forward to some home improvement projects, more family time and especially more couple time.  We want to plan a trip at the end of May to the Smokies--just Bryan and me.  And hopefully some little family trips over the summer as well....zoos and parks, maybe even Mammoth Cave...we might as well just jump on in to this child-raising and do it up right!